apatheticghost:

what i learned from school

1. im a fucking piece of shit
2. everybody else is also a fucking piece of shit
3. mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

So, yesterday was my quit day. People who know that I’ve been doing quit days should be pretty proud because I didn’t have one cigarette. I did puff on my ecigarette, but that happened once. I don’t count the ecigarette because it has practically no nicotine and absolutely no tar.

On top of that, I finished a month of my new medicine. Because of this and my quit day, I was feeling very ill. I was cramping up really bad and generally irritable. Honestly, I felt really depressed. Like, I was practically crying all day. I didn’t feel that bad on my first quit day. I’m not sure if I did feel bad because of my meds or what. I literally did nothing yesterday.

I have also noticed some things that drive me to have cigarettes. If I’m bored, anxious, upset, angry, or any emotion other than happy, I turn to cigarettes to alter my mood and make me feel better. If I hope to quit, then I need to figure out how to deal with these moods separated from cigarettes. Otherwise, I will not be able to quit. 

I made it through a whole day of quit day, though, guys. That’s kind of a big deal.